We’ve all been there, haunted by the one that got away. Never truly understanding what happened or how it ended, all you have are the ghosts left behind. In the novel “Flannetwood” by author and playwright Raymond Luczak, we are allowed to delve into the self-indulgent emotions of times like these. Flowing like prose, speaking directly to our own vulnerable experiences, this is a great read for any season.
Flannelwood-Raymond Luzak
Unf*ck Your Brain – Kara Loewentheil, J.D.,
UnF*ck Your Brain is the podcast for high-achieving feminist people who struggle with anxiety, self-doubt, and imposter syndrome. If you know you’ve accomplished a lot professionally but still secretly feel like you’re unqualified….if you want to feel confident but you worry about what everyone else thinks about you…if you want to succeed but fear failure…this podcast is for you. In each episode Master Certified Confidence Coach Kara Loewentheil, J.D., will teach you how to overcome social conditioning and your own self-critical thoughts so that you can reduce your anxiety and insecurity, boost your self-confidence, and get what you want in life.
Rational Relating: The Smart Way to Stay Sane in the Crazy World of Love – Damon L. Jacobs
Let’s face it, relationships can sometimes be hard to navigate, but author and licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Damon L. Jacobs, is here to provide you with just the right tools for your relationship toolbox. In a time where we need to connect with each other more than ever, even the best of us can use a little brush up on the skills for nurturing the authentic and affirming relationships around us.
What Being Queer Means to Me
By Chase Lawrence
Growing up in a conservative household, it was embedded into my mind at an early age the classic and damaging examples of toxic masculinity. “You’re a boy, Chase…you need to do boy things like play sports!”, my Father and Mother would say. Knowing that I was one way and what society wanted me to be was the opposite of that, I grew to wonder if I would ever be able to live a life that was true to my most authentic self.
As I got older and the society around me that had once tried to confine me to a box had evolved, I felt liberated and confident that I was a queer man and that was my true self, to my very core. Being queer, for me, means being able to be free, to be liberated, to be able to look at oneself and say, ‘I am not bogged down by a bunch of righteous beliefs, gender confirming stereotypes. I am free to be me!’ But most importantly, being queer means not apologizing. I’ve learned that as we move on in life, meet new people, and make changes in our own lives, we encounter individuals who are not so understanding of who we are born to be. They use their own insecurities, lack of cultural understanding, and general ignorance to try and bring you down. Being queer has given me the ability to not allow people to try and disrupt my journey towards happiness and self-satisfaction. It’s a superpower, almost, that allows me to overcome all obstacles that life has tossed at me from any direction.
Despite all of this, I am always mindful that the road that lay ahead of me was paved by those who did not have the privilege to live lives that were true to their unique and authentic selves. I believe another part of being queer is being able to know not only where you are going in life, but to reflect on those that laid the ground you are walking on. People like Marsha P. Johnson, Harvey Milk, to name a few of the many trailblazing pioneers that allowed people like myself to live the kind of life we live today. We can never move forward towards full equality for all queer people without recognizing and appreciating those who helped us get to be where we are and who we are today.
What Queer Means To Me
By Jonathan Shuffield
Representation matters! We have said it a million plus times and it has never rang cliche. The more ground we make here the truer and sharper the cry. In the more than two decades since I came out a lot has definitely changed. Media finally has begun to show my fellow LGBTQIA+ siblings in the tapestry they portray as life. May the celebration of this not go unnoticed, but we still have a ways to go.
I am not satisfied, we have not fully integrated into the creative reflections around us. It is not just the hetero-normative culture of Hollywood, it is in the very portrayals of us in our own media, in the production companies developing our stories, in the editors’ offices choosing our models. I have lived in that starstruck city, I have sat in meetings in that land of illusion, I have fought to sell the idea that I exist.
There is nothing more heartbreaking than an “LGBT” production company foregoing you simply for being you. “You are super funny, but….” “You’re writing is great, however……” I checked the line up that was chosen for public consumption. I didn’t need to be given a memo, the truth was laid out in front of me. I’m not 30, my body isn’t just this side of porn. Sex was chosen over substance, as if I am not a sexual creature.
Before you put me on the shelf and label me bitter, don’t get me wrong. I remember the days when we were nowhere to be seen. I remember the thrill of witnessing a gay character on television, even if just for a second and even if it was a neutered stereotype, just an embodied punchline. I am thrilled that we have come so far, but why should we be satisfied? Especially if in that word lies complacency, settling for just enough.
We all grew up wanting to see ourselves, our stories reflected in the art we consumed. I will not apologize for continuing to fight to see my reflection, to see the rainbow of the men and women in the world around me. It is our innate human desire drawn on cave walls from the dawn of humans to the launch of this very publication, QueerCentric.
We are here to offer a voice to the rest of us. To represent a queer world not so homogenized. We do not want to take away from the version of us that is currently allowed the spotlight, we simply want to add to it. Instead of waiting for permission, we choose to boldly move forward creating our own path. We celebrate all of us, the rest of us! Because there is room for everyone, sometimes you just have to make the room yourself.
So if you have ever felt “othered” in your own community, maybe felt a little left of mainstream, or you have always felt like the odd one out. Don’t get bitter, raise your voice, take your place, stand tall in exactly the person you are. If you look around, you will find an endless sea of people celebrating with you. You will find QueerCentric here, celebrating the rest of us!
2022 Fashion: One Day You’re IN and Then…..Well Read On and be IN All Year
By Shelby Goatz
I’ve been scouring the internet for a while now to see what was “in” for 2022.
These are my findings:
It’s seeming that what’s “out” is back “in” and what’s “In” – is now “Classic”
- Leggings are still in – as long as you wear them just as you have been.
- Skinny jeans are a classic style now, so you can keep wearing them – as though anything else would fit and look damn good on Gen X and Elder Millenial’s ever changing bodies. Boots, flats, heels? They look good with any shoe, definitely the sign of classic clothing.
- Plaid, prints and solids are in, as well as basically anything 90s. Chain belly belts, anyone?
- God save us, the low rise jeans are back. Does that mean my well thought out ‘tramp stamp’ tattoo is back in? As well as ‘whale tails’???
- Micro jackets are in (they’re just crop jackets, for Pete’s sake). Don’t like micro jackets? You’re in luck – “big, boxy” jackets are still in, as well.
- 80s sequins and shine is everywhere.
- So are the big oversized button up shirts. Think Dorothy from The Golden Girls.
- The Pantone color of the year is periwinkle blue. Very Peri to be exact. It’s a beautiful shade, for sure, but how different is it from the baby blues and pastels we’ve been seeing?
All I can deduce from what I’ve been seeing for fashion ins and outs for the year is to wear what you want.
Saying Goodbye to Betty White
By Shelby Goatz
With heavy hearts we say goodbye to the incomparable Betty White. Here are some facts about this golden girl!
Born January 17, 1922 as Betty Marion White – no, Betty isn’t short for “Elizabeth” – our golden queen has graced tv screens for 9 decades. She holds out for 1st place in our hearts and minds over the actual Queen Elizabeth.
Here are some things you may or may not know about the queen of our hearts:
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Yes, Betty was older than sliced bread. (Literally, Sliced bread was invented in 1928 by Otto Frederick Rohwedder) Nothing and no one else will ever be cooler.
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Is SNL’s oldest ever host.
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Originally was looked at for the role of Blanche on the Golden Girls, and Rue McClanahan was almost Rose!
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She wanted to be a forest ranger growing up. At that time, women were not allowed to do so, so she took up writing – which led to her interest in the performance arts
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During WW II, Betty volunteered with the American Women’s Voluntary Services where she transported military supplies throughout California
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She was married three times. First to Dick Barker in 1945. She divorced him a year later because he pressured her to stay on his chicken farm, instead of acting. Her third husband was “the love of her life”, Allen Ludden. She can be quoted from a Larry King interview “ Once you’ve had the best, who needs the rest?” On whether she would ever remarry.
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Was the first woman to ever produce a tv show, star in a sitcom and receive an Emmy nomination. She’s also technically the first woman ever on television, with an experimental broadcast in the 1930s.
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Saucy and sassy, an ardent supporter of animal rights, Betty White was an icon for as long as I can remember.
Forever in our hearts, thanks for keeping us smiling!
Build Up and Sing Loud: When Music is the Prescription
By Shelby Goatz
Do you ever have those days when you just aren’t feeling it?
Let’s face it, this time of year that can be 98% of the time for some of us. Well this can be a sure fire way to boost your day! Nothing better than a curated up beat playlist to get lost in. So go ahead and fill this prescription from Dr. Shelby. You will feel better in no time!
Too Sexy – Right Said Fred
Vogue – Madonna
Beautiful – Christina Aguilera
Unpretty – TLC
Scars To Your Beautiful – Alessia Cara
Born This Way – LAdy Gaga
Royals – Lorde
Confident – Demi Lovato
Try – Colbie Caillat
Lip Gloss – Lil Mama
Just The Way You Are – Bruno MArs
Pretty Hurts – Beyoncé
Ugly – Sugababes
Don’t You Know You’re Beautiful – Kellie Pickler
Who You Are – Jessie J
True Colors – Cyndi Lauper
Goddess – Krewella, ft Raja Kumari
Dance Again – Selena Gomez
Look What You Made Me Do – Taylor Swift
I’m In Love With Your Body – TJ Wells
Perfect 10 – Unknown Brain, ft Heather Sommer
Dreamer – Black Violin
More Beautiful – Hoobastank
Brave – Sara Bareilles
Don’t Cha – The Pussycat Dolls
Dare You To Move – Switchfoot
Just Like Fire – P!nk
Dark Horse – Katy Perry
Pink – Aerosmith
Email us your feel good songs and musicians editor@thequeercentric.com
The Binge List
It’s that time of year; eat too much, O.D. on family time, need a break from the nagging questions from Aunt Martha. Can we all just sit down and stop talking for a while? Sounds like the perfect time to binge-watch something, anything. Well we are here to help. Sit back and unwind while watching these great shows!
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- With Love (Amazon Prime): If you’re looking for something family oriented, but includes a strong helping of Queer-ness, this is our number one pic for the holiday. From the executive producer who brought us One Day At A Time (R.I.P.) comes this story about family, love and finding ourselves. Through the lens of five major holidays, we follow the lives of the Diaz family as they navigate the joy and hardship of relationships throughout our lives. Well worth the watch!
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- And Just Like That…..(HBO Max): They say you can’t go home again, but the writers and creator of the original smash hit “Sex and the City” are attempting to do just that. In this follow up to the original series, we jump back into the lives of Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte (sans Samantha) still navigating life in the city and finding out that the World is ever moving forward, even into our 50s. Shocking I know! I’m here to tell you that the writing is strong and the stars are just as engaging as ever. With strong queer story lines and engaging situations, this is a pleasure to watch!
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- The Witcher (Netflix): If you didn’t catch the first season of this epic series, run right now and check it out…..I’ll wait. Season two is just as strong in storyline and adventure. Based on the book series of the same name with its very popular video game offshoots, we follow Geralt of Rivia, a solitary monster hunter, struggling to find his place in a world where people often prove more wicked than beasts. For this writer, anywhere I get to see Henry Cavill without his shirt is a must see for me.
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- The White Lotus (HBO Max): HONORABLE MENTION. I realize this came out at the end of summer, but if you missed it or don’t have HBO Max I’d buy it just to watch this show! Following the exploits of guests at a high end tropical resort, we sit on the sidelines watching their lives unravel before us with various levels of crazy! With actors like Jennifer Coolidge, Connie Britton, and Steve Zahn, and superb writing this show is worth every minute in front of your television.
- Only Murders In The Building (Hulu): HONORABLE MENTION. There’s something about the witty and sometimes silly humor of Steve Martin and Martin Short that is truly timeless. Add a murder mystery and some Selena Gomez and I AM ALL IN. Follow these characters as they start their own true crime podcast based on a suspected murder in their classic upper west side apartment building. Nothing beats the seriousness of the subject with the surprise comedy timing of the cast to make this an enthusiastically enjoyable watch.
Brad Harder Talks About “The Christmas House” and the NEW “The Christmas House 2: Deck Those Halls
By Kurt Schmierer
Holidays can have a different meaning for each family, whether that is bringing family together for a time or how a family shows their spirit to a neighborhood and town. Traditions can make the holidays more than just a day off or the gifts given.
Last year one TV family wanted to relive a custom they shared with the town they lived in. The Christmas House is one family’s tradition helping them to find their way in life as it inevitably changes.
Brad Harder plays the husband, Jake, to Jonathan Bennett’s Brandon, a young couple coming home for the holidays. The Christmas House is a long held family tradition where every room and every floor is turned into a Christmas wonderland for all ages. This year is full of change for all of the family. There is an adoption, house for sale, show cancellation and old flames rekindled.
As tradition goes I have watched this show now for the second year and am excited to see this year’s sequel called The Christmas House 2: Deck Those Halls available on The Hallmark Channel.
Without spoilers let’s hear from actor Brad Harder to find out what it is like being part of seasonal history as the character of Jake in The Christmas House and The Christmas House 2: Deck Those Halls.
You have now been part of 2 Hallmark holiday specials that are a continuation of the story and evolution of the characters. What is it like through the filter of a gay man being part of this?
It truly is an honor to be at the start of LGBTQ representation for hallmark. There’s so many unnecessary barrier for LGTBQ performers face when reading and playing different roles, and I’m so thankful Hallmark cast 2 gay men playing to play Jake and Brandon.
As a Husband and father, how do you view the show and its message for the holidays?
This is the type of family that I wish for all people in our community. That their sexual orientation isn’t even a thing. That they are a part of the family and their family support, loves and accepts them unconditionally. For me, in real life unfortunately this isn’t how my family is and for so many other gay couple, so this time of year can be hard. That’s why playing this character and telling this story is so important as it shows what is possible. For me as a parent, this is the type of family my husband and I are building and I envision for our future when our kids come home for the holidays.
I loved The Christmas House that came out last year. It was a wonderful story and very family friendly. What drew you to taking part with this show?
What drew me to it was to finally get to represent our community on hallmark and this family love for each other.
How much of Jake do you draw from real life or is he someone you want to be?
I drew quite a lot of myself in jake, but maybe Jake is a bit more grounded and calmer than I am myself. He’s definitely is someone I strive to be more so.
Without spoilers what is the biggest difference between The Christmas House and The Christmas House 2:Deck those Halls?
The first one is the first glimpse and picture of This family, and it’s sweet, cute and funny but it doesn’t get as deep and funny as the second one.
The Christmas House has a phenomenal cast. Can you tell us who you knew before being part of the show? After the first movie, The Christmas House, did you all stay close friends?
I didn’t know anyone of my cast mates before the movie. When we all met we started a group chat that has never stopped. This truly as become a family.
For The Christmas House 2: Deck those Halls, was it like coming home again? Did anything feel different?
It was just like coming home. It was surreal. The cast and most of the crew for the movie where the same which made it even more special. We were just all excited to see each other and it was aa if we hadn’t missed a beat.
This is a question for “Jake” , what is it about Brandon that drew you to him?
Brandon is a larger than life guy, he’s very charismatic, ambitious and the total ying to jakes yang.
Behind the scenes there are always funny happenings or outlandish stories. Is there something you can share with us that happened on each of The Christmas Houses?
Jonathon and Rob kept trying to Sabotage each other’s diets by sending each other unhealthy …but tasty food simultaneously. This year I had broken my foot right before shooting so unfortunately not to many shenanigans. Of course Jonathan tried to carry me to brunch that ended quickly as he discovered I am fairly heavy hah. Last year Jonathon, Sharon and I did the mean girls Christmas dance and that was so fun and blew up online.
Do you have a favorite cast member of The Christmas House movies or maybe more diplomatically, what do you love about your castmates?
I LOVE each and every single one of these people and all for different reasons. We all compliment each other and have so much fun together. Jonathan is the most incredible movie husband. We connected immediately and had to much fun getting to know each other, and FaceTime our spouses together. He’s a friend I will have forever. We got to share this story and has deeply impacted us and our connection to the Christmas house.
Rob… he is just like my brothers, of course another Taurus. I’m so comfortable with him and love finding food to eat together. His heart is on his sleeve and I recognize and love that.
Ana…is a deep soul. I love nothing more than to connecting with someone at that level. Her integrity and authenticity is so important to her. I just feel connected to her as a human.
Treat, God I love him. His stories, his personality, having dinner with him We call each other to check in from time to time and nothing makes me happier.
Sharon is just an incredible person. How she holds herself, the actor she is just put me in awe all the time. She has a wonderful heart. I love doing ghost tours with her!!!
Now I just want to see them all and have dinner together or some adventure.
Who would “Jake” identify as his favorite?
Jake for sure loves Phylis & Bill. They are the grandparents!!! On top of being adored by both of them they love their grandkids and give Jake and Brandon much needed breaks.
As a father are there any special holiday traditions you share each year?
We are trying to establish our own traditions that are fun and special for us. Graham and I both love decorating our tree and so that’s something we did this year with Kael and next year Tegan will join.
Do you think The Christmas House will have a 3rd movie?
I hope so! We could do a movie learning to knit mittens for all I care it’d be hilarious.
If the opportunity arises, would you do another LGBTQ holiday show?
100% without question
